With my 31st birthday nearing, I’ve been thinking a lot about my grandfather. About how almost this time last year we still had him around. I had a Beyonce theme birthday dinner at home with family and friends and I still remember vividly how he came out from the dining room holding a picture of himself and a baby me. He approached me and showed it to me and I could see it in his face that he was proud and happy. He didn’t say much but I just knew. I miss him terribly.

What a different time back then, and how different things are right now. But before I get into the cheese story, I need to tell you about a friend of mine, and his name is Eric Holst.

Eric was an acquaintance I had the privilege of working with during my last year in Curtin University. He was a student from Germany and if I had a handful of people to pick who had instrumental impact on me during my study days, he would be in the bunch. On his last few days in Australia, Eric gave me a  beautiful diary, with the first page written by Eric himself with the most encouraging words one can ever dream to read. Another present was a book titled ‘Who Moved My Cheese?’ by Spencer Johnson. This book seemed familiar, because I had seen him reading it around campus. I was always curious about the book because of the title so I was thrilled when he gave it to me. ‘Give it someone else when you’re done with it’ Eric said. Since then,  I had lost touch with Eric but I will never forget the things that he taught me.

It’s been years since I picked up that book, but whenever I find myself caught in the dilemma on how to adapt and accept change, I remember that book and Eric. The cheese book was a book about change. It was from this book that I learned change is the ever constant thing in our lives. Change in inevitable. Some changes are good, some are well, basically, awful.

It would be the biggest lie if I said things have been great. I honestly have no words to describe the year 2020 so far, we’re not halfway through it yet and whatever has happend made it feel like we’ve lived through many years with multitude of emotions in the span of 4 months. A lot of us are getting by with the new normal in 2020.

For me, is accepting that my grandfather is gone, moved into a new house, getting used to working from home and living in anxiety on how things may work out in the future. As much as I feel secure enough because there is stability in my life, I can’t help but think of others who do not have this type of luxury. But at the same time, I hope this doesn’t disqualify the fact that people are still affected in some ways or another, regardless what walks of life they’re living. We’re humans: short, tall, rich, poor, educated or not everyone has a heart and a brain that feels and thinks and feel differently – and more importantly the ability to adapt to change. When I started reading the cheese book, I just could not put it down.

One of the biggest lesson it taught me was that the key in a adapting to change is positivity. To get through any hurdles we need to think what we CAN do to make ourselves better rather to wait for the obstacles to magically disappear – because this almost never happens and more problems can arise?

We need to tell ourselves to stop digging for the bad and think of how the good can teach and inspire us to be better humans.

We need to be patient, because sometimes no matter how hard you work or pray, the ideal outcome won’t present to us immediately. Remember that a lot of good things takes time.

So when I am trying really hard to work at home with my son being all clingy and troubled, I stop and think how often will I have this opportunity to see his face all day every day. That it won’t always be like this, so for as long as I have to stay at home, I will make it work and appreciate every moment I get to witness Rauf grow.

So when I am feeling worried about the future, for myself and for my family, I need to place more faith in all the work and effort we are putting in now. If it’s fated that things don’t go our own way, we’ll work even harder and we will be okay.

So when I see people commenting negative things to those who share their good efforts and deeds, I choose to block  all the negativity out. Because seeing people doing good makes me want to do good too. If it doesn’t inspire me to be better, I will stop because resentment and hatred will only waste my time.

So when I am feeling sad and still have the urge to find for my grandpa at home, I remind myself that everything has it’s time and place and it’s all for a good reason. See, the plan to move into my new place was suppose to happen a long time ago. There had been countless and uncertain delays when it came to the house renovation, but after my Papa passed away, only then it made sense. Well, at least to me. Had the house been completed when I wanted it too, I wouldn’t have had the blessing to see my grandpa everyday until the very last day of his life. That’s the hikmah.

So if you can’t find your cheese, keep searching for it. It’s there, don’t worry. You just need to know how and where to look…and be patient.