When Rauf turned 1 year old I decided to collect all birthday notes he would receive from our friends and relatives, to keep them in jars labeled by the year and will pass it over to him when he turns 18.

It wasn’t until my Grandfather passed away recently that I realised how cherished and priceless these time capsule messages are.  I found the note that my Papa wrote for him in 2019 and I could not stop crying for what it felt like the entire day.

Our big loss took place just a week before Rauf’s 3rd birthday, so no big dos, just something simple amongst family. Rauf asked for a jellycake with dinosaurs, he didn’t ask for anything except for pancakes for breakfast, but he did he get a big car (thanks Joe) and some new Marvel and dinosaur buddies….

…and a visit to Dr Musa for one big fat immunisation jap. Sorry, kid.

My only hope for my son one day is that he grows up healthy and kind and would live a fulfilling life with loving people. Everything else is a bonus.

Rauf had the time of his life on his brithday. Sang the birthday song loudly, admired his cake the whole time, opened his present with so much joy . He even took tempretures of his new toys and said thank you to everyone. I felt so happy to see my baby all grown up. My god, he’s already 3. THREE.

It’s quite difficult to feel happiness at a time when you know you should be grieving. But when I get sad about my late grandpa, I stop and think about it again. That beautiful man got to live a long and meaningful life. Papa and Rauf got to meet and love each other.

And then I felt happy again.

Happy 3rd Birthday Rauf. 3 jars down, 15 more to go. I love you.