I started planning for Rauf’s birthday party 6 months before. Typical right, first child and all. I had people telling me that he won’t even know what’s going on. Well duh, he’s one, but there will be pictures for him to see and that’s exactly what I want. I want my son to see with his own eyes of the day he was celebrated by everyone that loves him.
I injured my back while putting things together for the party. One minute I was running here and there, picking up stuff, the next minute I heard one loud KRAAAK from my back and there I was on the couch, not able to move my ass or my legs for half and hour. Of course this had to happened right before the party. Nevertheless, things fell into place. My cousins and best friend helped out, gave all they could to help me realize this birthday dream for Rauf. Even though it wasn’t perfect, it felt imperfectly perfect to me.
Everyone that mattered to us, who could come, came. My grandma who stays in Pahang was there, my mom’s and dad’s side of the family, Joe’s parents and siblings were there too, friends that I grew up with were all there.
Rauf was so well behaved, probably going through birthday shock from seeing so many balloons and people. Children kept going back and forth the ice cream station, the grownups did the same thing with free flow coffee. When it wasn’t too hot, my little nephews and nieces (and friends) played bubbles and hula hoops at the lawn.
Everyone wanted a piece of the boy, I kept looking at him and realized how much in love I was with him. Realising he won’t be this little forever broke my heart, but I honestly cannot wait to grow up with him. Best friends forever okay, Rauf (careful future girlfriends).
The party lasted 2 hours, 50 presents in total, and a few hundred ringgit will go into his bank account. But none of this will last. Decorations are down and kept away, sooner or later he will outgrow his presents, the money will put to good use one day, but I kept asking what will last, what will last for him to see and realize how loved he is?
Then I figured it out, and it was perfect. During the party, we had a little corner for guests to write messages for Rauf and put them in a jar. The best part about this is that it will only be given to him when he turns 18 years old. Kinda long I know, but it’s sweet enough, a bit freaky, but definitely memorable. I can’t wait for my 18 year old son to go through messages that was written for him 18 years back on his 1st birthday.
In this one year that I’ve had Rauf, there has been so many ups and downs. The thing that scares me the most is not having enough resources to give him what he needs while he grows up. But none of us had everything growing up. We had what we needed and the most important thing was Love. And I hope the Jar will remind him about the most important thing.
Rauf, you are loved. No matter how rich, how poor, how successful or how low you may think of yourself, you are loved, and you always will be.
YANAKAZMAN 