May 16th is Teacher’s Day. A day of honoring teachers who helped shape us into the people we are and the day to show appreciation to those who will help shape our children’s minds, knowledge and dreams.  We celebrate Teacher’s Day to say thank you, something they deserve to hear more often than they do.

I had a teacher, a great one. Her name was Ustazah Sheena and she passed away nearly 2 years ago. I never got the chance to say my thanks or goodbye to her and this is something that I will regret for the rest of my life.

She became my teacher when I was 14 years old. I was terrible in my Islamic studies at school, so of course mom went all out to find me a tuition teacher in hope that he or she would help me improve my grades. Turned out that not only my mom found me a teacher, she found me a friend.

Ustazah was THE coolest teacher in the world. She was so natural in teaching I never felt like I was studying. I was learning through her stories, the best story teller was her. I fell in love with history because of the way she taught it, my grades dramatically changed from C’s to A’s and the best part about having her as a teacher was that she didn’t teach me for the sake of exams, she taught so I would understand and carry whatever I learned for as long as I can.

I suppose she was a bit out of the ordinary. Extraordinary. She’d come to my house bringing coffee, sweets and chocolates. Once, I was so excited that I got my driver’s license and insisted that I should practice with her car. So there we were, just the two of us, gallivanting in her van making rounds and rounds in my neighborhood. When I think about it again, oh that poor lady had to layan this jakun teenager who couldn’t wait to drive because she just got her licence. Bless her.

We’d always hang out after class, she never forgot my birthday, we’d gossip about the  boys I had crushes on from school. She would tell me about her students, her children and how much she loved coaching her nasyid team.

Ustazah was always smiling, always so cheerful and she exuded inner and outer beauty. Even when she had her own problems she would always take it in stride. What I love most about her was that she never hid the reality of being an adult, she would always say things as it is. She would remind me that life isn’t easy, but everything will be okay as long as we are patient. ‘Semua ni ujian daripada Allah SWT, Yana’ she often said, but always with a sweet smile on her beautiful face.

She was light.

I loved her, she became my friend and she became what every awkward, confused, rebellious teenager needed; someone who was understanding and trustworthy. Being away for a few years never kept us apart. She’d still come over to my house and we’d recite the Al Quran together, we’d still gossip about boys and she was always present in my adult life as she inherited my sister and cousins as her students. She was practically family, we all grew up right in front of her eyes.

Ustazah never told me she had fallen ill, when I found out I reached out to her immediately and by then she was already admitted in the hospital. To cheer her up, I told her that I had gotten engaged to Joe and even without seeing her face I knew she was beyond happy for me. But before I knew it, she had passed on.  In a blink of an eye, she had left us.

The feeling of regret for not visiting her soon enough will haunt me forever. I should have gone to her straight away and I should have said my thank yous and I should have hugged her like how she use to comfort me when I was growing up. I should have. 

Happy Teacher’s Day, Ustazah. I think of you often, especially when I’m down on my knees reciting the verses that you taught me. I pray that you are at peace and most importantly I pray that you will be rewarded with the highest level of Jannah. Perhaps one day, we will meet again and continue driving around together in that van of yours, but this time in Heaven insyaAllah.

Thank you for everything, Ustazah. Everything.

Al Fatihah