2017 is going to be a busy year for so many of my beloved friends and relatives, Alhamdulillah they are one step closer in building bridges between families and I’m so happy and excited for them! So many weddings though; I need to know the exact dates so I can immediately key them into my calendar. So far, there’s a wedding for every month in 2017, so good luck to us!

Getting married is huge for anyone’s life, but everyone knows how stressful and costly planning a wedding can be.

Naturally when you’re already married and just had a wedding, some may ask for your advice and recommendations for different things and seeing how my friends and relatives are panicking and stressing out about their wedding made me feel somewhat grateful about being done with it all. But I did learn a few things from my own experience and observing others, so here are my thoughts and views about planning the biggest day of your life.

Venue

If money grew on trees, who wouldn’t want to have their wedding at 5 star hotel, but leave this decision to your parents – especially if they are paying. Don’t stress too much on how beautiful the venue has to be, if your parents are the ones forking out their savings for your big day, be reasonable. Hey, we’d all like to get married in Hawaii or Bali or a hotel that serves 5-6 course meal with flowers dangling from every corner of the room, but it’s not the end of the world if you don’t get your dream place. Remember, you’re getting married to your partner, not the venue.

Wedding dress

I made the mistake of rushing in deciding who’d my  designer should be. I should have taken my time, made more research and did more comparisons between designers and tailors. Don’t get me wrong, I loooooove my wedding dress, but for the price that was paid, I think it it deserved to be better. Most brides-to-be would often look up for the big names in designing their wedding dress, I was one of them, but I should have realised that most of the dresses that we see featured on social media are of famous people, celebrities. So, of course their dresses would cost a lot more and would be so so so beautiful, but tone down your expectations when it comes to high end designers and try to settle with a design that you’re in love with and try asking around for reasonable tailors that can stitch up an equally stunning dress with a much more affordable price. After all, you’re only going to wear that dress once in your life.

Hantaran/Gifts Exchange

I once read an article written by a man who was belittled by his future in-laws because he couldn’t afford to get his future wife a Prada handbag for one of the gift exchanges. That’s just wrong. It shouldn’t be like that. Again, in reality, not everyone can afford high end handbags, so if you know your partner has a budget, don’t be a pain and demand for things you know he/she can’t afford. If you really want it, chip in. I get it, who wouldn’t want a beautiful handbag, or an expensive watch, or that pair of louboutins you’ve been dreaming your whole life, but is it worth hurting each other’s feelings because the other person simply cannot afford it? It’s not that they don’t want to, there’s just not enough money. I remember accidentally hurting Joe’s feelings one time when I expressed my envy that someone we know is getting a handbag that I’ve always wanted. I felt horrible. Ever since that day, I told myself to just shut up and be grateful with what I have. If you want it, work for it. Maybe you can’t get what you want now, but you can work towards it later. You’re getting married because you want to start a life together, not just so that you can go shopping.

RSVP

If someone invited you for a sit down wedding, please RSVP. Each seat cost money, and if you are definitely going, inform the bride/groom. If something happens last minute and you can’t attend, inform them too. Don’t be a pain by saying that you’re going and not turn up. I remember looking out during my reception and there was a table that was almost empty, I knew who was supposed to be sitting there, everyone RSVP for that night but none of them of turned up. Burn. So be a considerate guest, inform as soon as you can when necessary.

Manners matter

Whether you’re the one that is getting married, or a relative or a guest, please mind your manners. Don’t brag about your wedding, belittle the bride/groom’s family for tiny shortcomings and please don’t complain about the type of help your friends or relatives are offering – you need all the help you can get when it comes to your big day, show some gratitude and most importantly, be gracious about it. If you’re a bridesmaid, do your duty. If you’re a relative, do whatever you can to help. Don’t judge what others are doing for their wedding, it’s not easy putting so many things together for just one day, so watch out what you say about other people’s big day and be a good guest – dress well and enjoy yourself with the company of others.

There goes my rant, or my advice, however you wish to perceive it. Just don’t ever forget why you’re getting married in the first place. Your wedding will only take place in a day, your marriage for the rest of your life insyaAllah. Don’t get yourself stuck in debt just to make things look good for 24 hours. Focus on saving money that you definitely will need for the future. Just because you don’t get the things you want now, it doesn’t mean you won’t get it later. Who knows, it may be even better.

After all, we’re all blessed with different things in life.