Last week, I went to a friend’s wedding in Kuantan. It was a beautiful occasion because it was Sue’s wedding and it was held by the beach held on a cool windy night. I repeat, wedding. by. the. beach. The fireworks and  fairy lights accompanied the stars so the sky looked so sweet and friendly.  Music was beyond perfect which is expected because Sue and her sisters are in a band and they’re amazing at what they do. The most memorable part of the event was the smile on our Sue’s face and seeing the familiar faces that I shared my University days with.

My family came down for the wedding too, which made the trip more memorable. Unfortunately, mama had food poisoning so dad flew solo that night. He went missing for a while and when I finally found him, he was at the photobooth, making new friends, doing this:

I somehow felt 10 years younger stuck in a much older body, it was amazing to see how all of us have grown up and doing our own thing. The only thing that felt different that night was the fact that Sue gained a partner for life and we couldn’t have been more happy for her.

Back in the day when I was studying for my Degree in Perth, I did not only gain two amazing housemates, I gained two loves of my life – Amy and Roq. The three of us decided to hang out after the wedding to catch up so we basically told our family ‘yeah we love you guys but we need some girl time so bye see you later’. Naturally, they all understood and left us girls be.

So at midnight, over 2 bowls of french fries and a few Cappuccinos, we exchanged stories and lessons. I felt like we were back in our living room on Beveridge St, sitting on the blue couch (that gave the three of us horrible rashes), sipping my hot Milo. 8 years may have passed since we lived together, but nothing has changed between us.

We’re at that stage where most of us our friends are moving on with the next phases in life – serious relationships, horrible breaks ups, career progressions, getting married, having babies, you know, that kinda stuff. We’re also at that stage where most people are curious about our next move. Come on, we all know the drill, questions like ‘When are you getting married’, ‘Do you even have a boyfriend?’, ‘What’s taking so long’, ‘Are you pregnant yet?’

As much as most of us know that these questions are used as conversation starters and are asked out of genuine curiosity, it gets annoying after a while. What makes it even more annoying is when you know that you have absolutely no control in what is fated for you. We can plan all we want, sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn’t.

After talking to the girls about our ghost of boyfriends past, what we’re up to now and what we plan to do in the future, I realised something. We’re so over these questions. We are so done feeling pressured by other people and their opinions that we’ve reached the point that we don’t care anymore. They both made me realise that having these ‘achievements’ in your life does not define you as a person. We can’t deny that getting engaged, being married, pushing a baby out are all happy things but those are not achievements, those are just happy moments.

Amy and Roq said that this somewhat unhealthy mentality of placing so much importance on our social lives must change and it has to start with us. I couldn’t agree more. Ask less about when someone is getting hitched and ask more on the person’s hobbies and passion. Ask someone what makes them happy instead of implying to them what could make them happy.

Amy, Roq and Sue’s wedding also made me realise that as long as you surround yourself with genuine and loving friends, who truly care about your well being and dreams (instead of pressuring and judging you), that’s more than good enough.

Sue, I know you’re reading this. If you ever find yourself in a place where you’re torn between what your heart wants and what people’s mouths are saying, always follow your gut. Amy, Roq and I will never forget our beautiful time with you back in Perth. You graced us with your beautiful voice, your happy music, your genuine laugh and your loving spirit. Farez is a lucky lucky man. We love you very much and we can’t wait to grow old with you.

Whatever happens in life I know these beautiful souls have my back. Thank you for inspiring me every day and I hope we get to be the change we want to see.